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Wednesday, November 30, 2011

a kangaroo named russell crowe?

You know those Lifetime movies where the husband lures his American wife to another country so he can kidnap their children -- but replace ‘their children’ with ‘her career’?  This is nothing like that.

That said, we’re moving.  Again.  But not back to Los Angeles or my career.  To someplace closer and far more stable.  Sydney, Australia.  Where they keep the kangaroos and Russell Crowe.  Come February you will be able to add us to that list.  My husband got another new job.  He seems to be printing them like flyers in the basement.  Even though we don’t have a basement.  Maybe in Australia we will. 

The job was offered last week while we were on vacation in Fiji (with my very generous in-laws who hand out holidays like handshakes) so we came home, unpacked and repacked our luggage, and flew to Sydney.  Like a bunch of jackasses.  If you’re in three beautiful vacation destinations – Fiji, Auckland, and Sydney – all in the same week and you are not in the Navy, that kind of makes you a jackass.  If not, saying that last jackass statement definitely does.  Either way, we were doing what we had to do.  Recon mission.

My husband has been to Sydney a couple of times but the kids and I haven't so we had to make sure we could live there.  Our hot Fijian tans were greeted with cold Australian rain.  My first impressions attacked me.  Sydney is so big and a city and there were buildings ev-ery-where.  Panic set in.  I can’t live in big and a city with buildings ev-ery-where.  Besides, we were supposed to move back home next.  I mean, what about my career… and our friends and family… and my career?!  We never seriously talked about moving from another country to another country. I wanted to go down to the basement and print flyers with pictures of my WGA card on it.  I wondered if the American consulate would help me with the reward money. 

And then I calmed the crazy lady down.  In the Lifetime movie version of this, I would’ve slapped myself.  My supportive best friend/lawyer played by Tracey Gold would’ve tried to stop me and told me to breathe.  So I breathed.  Because the next day came with clarity and sunshine and coffee.  Just what you need when you’re making big life decisions.  I went over everything I already knew.  I moved to New Zealand – NEW ZEALAND! – and most of my hair didn’t fall out of my head.  My husband found a great house and a great school in a great neighborhood.  I worked on three NZ television shows.  I finished a feature spec and it's way better than the one I didn't finish.  And my family was happy and intact and full of belly fluff.  In the end, the belly fluff was all that mattered.  Everything I already knew reminded me that moving to Auckland was the best decision I have ever made.  (The worst:  that asymmetrical haircut/bob in the late 80s.)  There was no reason why another leg of our once-in-a-lifetime adventure wouldn't be the same. 

So we're moving to Sydney.  And it's going to be great.  I just hope Russell Crowe is hiring.  And that he likes jackasses.





  1. All happy and healthy, that's what counts! I've got the the little boy blues, miss those hugs and kisses. Sure like to hitch a ride on a kangaroo named Russel Crowe! Is that water in Fuji? And whose nose? XOXO

  2. Nicely put, Tiffany! Another adventure for all of you. And, don't forget, there are lots of places in Australia without buildings, so you can always get away from them.

  3. Your writing leaves me speechless. Opening Sydney travel savings account asap.

  4. I love you all. And you must come visit me. Or else.

  5. I'm excited for you, dearest. What a big, courageous heart you have. But I knew that already.

  6. Hi Tiffany,
    What exciting news! Sara and I are thrilled for you, Scott, and the kids. We are planning to visit Sydney next year, and this time we hope to not just fly there for a Saturday evening dinner in Manly.
    Lots of love, Rob Horning & Sara Megchelsen

  7. Visitors! We can't wait, Rob & Sara! xx